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Minggu, 11 Maret 2012

Letter 7

Assalamualaikum...
Dearest pyeoul..

Hi my dear..how are you? again..i cannot send letter to you nor i know recent news about you. But (as always actually), as i miss you here, somehow your shadow appear, answering the missing feeling inside. I don't know, suddenly news about you appear, i did not reading much, but i know you are okay there. I take a deep breath, though i feel terribly sad, but i always pray for the best thing to come your way. I really wanna curse you just like other people when they broke up with their partner, but i can't. I just look down and close my eyes, remembering you as pungkas, the man i love, not the man i hate. I can't.

A month ago, i was in Bali. Yup, at this date, we went to Uluwatu. The exotic cliff really captured my sight, eventough i had gone there once. I knew, we could go to several more places nearby because those place were in Sarbagita's busway track, but i couldn't ask for that. I did not care of sightseeing, i just want you to stay by my side. That's it.

Funny huh? i always imagining myself married to you. I already doing some research about the wedding location, the food, the bouquet, the dress etc. I am not so fond about the idea of luxurious wedding, i just want a simple wedding, a happy moment that i could share with my closest family and friends. But fate says other way, i must accept the fact you are no longer my-soon-to-be-husband. My dear.........

Baiklah, daripada sedih terus-terusan, aku lebih baik lanjutin nulis suratnya seperti biasa. Hari ini aku ga ngajar kang, awalnya dapet panggilan ngajar ke Meruya, itu daerah perbatasan antara grogol dan tanah abang. Kalau dari Depok, aku mesti naik kereta ke stasiun tanah abang, dari sana aku lanjut lagi naek angkot M11 ke Meruya. Tapi untungnya anaknya lagi pengen libur, jadi aku ga ngajar. Lumayan juga bisa libur, belakangan jadwal ngajarku penuh banget, rasanya capek mesti pindah dari satu rumah ke rumah lain. Hari kamis kemaren aku sampai ga masuk mata kuliah Pengendalian sistem soalnya aku pikir aku telat dateng ke kelasnya. Aku sengaja menuhin jadwal kosong buat jadi pengalih pikiran aku supaya aku ga terus-terusan kangen akang. Tapi gimanapun juga perasaan itu masih sering muncul. Kegiatan aku sekarang nonstop dari jam 5 subuh sampe jam 11 malem. Kadang-kadang rasanya udah mau ambruk tapi aku terus maksain diri. Mau gimana lagi, aku mesti ngalihin energi yang aku punya supaya aku ga sedih mulu.

Oh iya, pas kemaren aku lagi ngerjain tugas kelompok di kosan temen, aku nonton acara mancing mania itu. Seru ya ngeliat para fishers (asumsi aku aja ini bahasa inggrisnya hehehehe ;p) mancing di laut lepas, mereka mancing ikan yang warnanya biru gitu, tapi aku lupa namanya. Mancingnya ampe jauh ke Australia. Bener-bener hobi orang kaya hehhehe.

Ngeliat pancingan mereka, aku jadi inget waktu kita ke Nusa Dua kemaren. Waktu di water blow ada banyak orang pasang pancingan disana. Aku waktu itu ga habis pikir, sebanyak itu pancingan deket-deketan, benangnya ga kelibet apa yah?? hehhehe, setelah aku nonton mancing mania itu baru aku tau ternyata kalo di laut, kemungkinan kelibet benangnya itu kecil.

Waktu kemaren aku ikut tio mancing ke kertalangu, aku diajarin ama dia mancing itu bawal. Seru juga ya, aku pikir awalnya yang mancing itu kegiatan paling ngebetein cuma bisa mandangin si pancingan doang. Yah mungkin karena di kolam kali ya jadinya ikannya lebih gampang diisengin ama kail. Tapinyaaa, aku ga berhasil mancing si ikan itu. Kemaren udah sempet kegigit pancingnya 3 kali, tapi kata tio aku kurang cepet nariknya. Yassalaaaaaammm, sudahlah, nasibku jadi pemula sih.. Lagian jariku lagi berdarah-darah pas aku mancing, bukan karena kena pancingannya, tapi waktu itu aku lagi demen ngelukain jariku.

Waktu itu aku liat akang dateng dari jauh, walking slowly to the fiching arena. But you didn't even look to my face. Aku sedih, temen akang si meneer itu sampai pasang tampang prihatin ke aku. Hufftt, aku ga punya pilihan lain, cuma bisa sedih sendiri dan itulah terakhir kali aku ngeliat akang, ngeliat punggung akang yang berbalik arah membelakangi aku. Baiklah sayangku....gimanapun aku berharap kamu mungkin ga akan pernah kembali lagi...


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Jumat, 09 Maret 2012

Just A Simple Wish

no, not asking much.. just tiny little wish.

yup, a friend to talk to. a friend whom i feel free to talk to, not being afraid getting particular judgement and to share my whole bunch of random stories.

not much, huh?

or...is it???
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Rabu, 07 Maret 2012

Letter 6

Dearest pyeoul,

I dreamt of you last night. Why is it so hard to forget you? or i guess it is my heart, my decision not to forget you.
How are you doing there pyeoul? It's been so long for me not contacting you. I am no longer updated any news about you. My heart actually crave for you and somehow today, i miss you so badly.

You know, i dreamt walking in Sesetan, that area where i walked alone crying when i was in Bali. I dreamt of going back there, walking with a a very sad heart knowing you left me. Then, still in my dream, i walked to the Sarbagita's shelter, you were there, standing firmly on the path to your dorm house. I could only see you from afar. Oh pyeoul, do you have to torture me this much?

Pyeoul, my sisters are going back to Bali to have vacation, but i am not going with them because i just recently went to Bali. Even so, they still asked me to go along. I refuse them. I cannot go back to Bali. Too soon while my heart still in pain. If only our relationship is okay, i would definately agree going to Bali.

My darling, i always miss you.
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Letter 5


Pyeoul, you may not miss me. But i always think of you here. I tried to be so busy, those effort actually goes for nothing cause at the end of the day, my mind goes back to you. I love you so much, as i always do.

-march 5, 2012
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Letter 4

I miss you, pyeoul. I miss your presence, your lovely smile. I love you. Always, unreplaceable.
-february 27, 2012.


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Senin, 05 Maret 2012

Someone with a broken heart

I walk at the edge Cliff of Soul
Bring my heart fragments also
I look to the beach below me
The sand is beautiful
Sparkling so merrily

Is that so?

Then i realized one thing

The sand indeed made from broken hearts
From people who throw their torn the glass-heart
Just like mine

I want to throw it away
For i have suffering much
That love is only a game of fool

People you love,
They fill the glass-heart
But easily broke it down
Left you with nothing
But a desperation...


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Our Old Recordings

Rekaman tua
Kumpulan kenangan lama
Penuh luka tiap kali aku mendengarnya
Acapkali jadi penghiburan untuk hati yang layu
dan bisu


Untaian kata tak pernah bisa
Ungkapkan perasaan yang pernah ada


Kudengarkan kembali rekaman tua ini
Mengapa semua asaku hilang tiada menentu?
Pada siapa aku hendak mengadu?
Tangan lembut untuk mengusap airmataku
Sinar suaramu menikam seluk beluk jiwaku


Tawa sudah memudar
mimpi pun pecah menjadi kristal tajam
tak ubahnya bagai mega-mega kelabu
melayang berpendar berarak di langit kelam


Aku tak ingin menangis
Tak ingin pula kau pergi
Aku merindukan dirimu yang dulu


Hanya ini yang kumiliki
kumpulan rekaman tua
Kisah - kisah kita si masa lalu
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Jumat, 02 Maret 2012

An Advice From The Inside

Be patient, Erwita. Your fate and future will be just alright. Many things might burden your minds now, but always have faith in Allah. Allah will not let you down for HE always listen to you, to your pray and knows what you keep in your soul.

Dear Erwita..jangan cepat berpuas hati maupun rendah diri. Yakinlah pada kemampuan yang kamu miliki. Setiap pribadi memiliki kekuatan maupun kelemahannya sendiri, maka janganlah kamu tertipu untuk kebahagiaan sesaat. Sungguh, kehidupan yang sebenarnya adalah kehidupan di hari akhir nanti. Saat ini hanya perjalanan sementaramu saja. Namun, selama nyawamu masih ada, nafas dan detakan jantung belum lagi ditarik darimu, masih ada jalan terbentang dihadapanmu. Mungkin saat ini kau belum dapat mengira-ngira akan ke arah mana hidup membawamu, maka, bersabarlah. Tunjukkan sikap tawadhu dan bertawakkal kepadaNya. Tundukkan pandanganmu, satukan hatimu pada kecintaan kepada Allah. Ia akan membimbingmu ke jalan terbaik untuk kau tapaki.

Bersabarlah, erwita dan jangan ragukan Ia. Demi Dzat yang nyawamu ada dalam genggemanNya.....
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Forwarding

Always Looking On The Brightside