Selasa, 10 April 2012

Letter #8

a cloudy day here.

Hello are you doing now? How’s your bussiness going on? I really wished you success on anything you do. Well, it’s been quiet sometime not writing letters for you. Sometimes I myself feel missing it like crazy of writing letters for you. You are the one I can share my stories so honestly. The one I can share my thoughts of things, of events and so many other opinion on how life goes on.

I promised myself not to cry again, but just now tears are shed from my eyes. I cannot help it. I still loving you so much and I miss you very badly. I tried not to be selfish, that I should not think of you anymore and focusing more of myself, cause I know I need to love myself too, but I failed. Many times, pyeoul. I keep thinking of you, keep praying for any possible future with you. Call me a foolish, yes I am. Once I decided to give my feeling to somebody I cannot let it or crushed right away. It takes time and I don’t know when will I be ready to open up my heart again. This time around I just wanna be alone. I don’t wanna look to the outer world. Yes, just me and my tiny less complicated life.

Pyeoul, a mother I know she advised me this : don’t ever give your heart away 100%, you should give only 10% when you’re dating, maybe 50% when you’re engage and just 65% when you’re married, so when things turn to the other side you don’t want to (let’s say when you broke up), you still have pieces of your heart, so you couldn’t crushed entirely. Well, it seems very easy to say, bt I myself can hardly figure it out. I always believe you should give it 100% on anything you do, to show you’re committed to it. Because if it’s not 100% then it means you’re not serious in reaching your target. Well, I guess maybe I need to change my perpective. Hurting this badly from a relationship is hurtful and it feels so hard getting to my zero point, for I have fallen to a deep ravine. I miss you, pyeoul, eventough I only met you for three times of visit.

Yes, I couldn’t pretend to turn my back away, pretend like there’s nothing happen between you and me that you just a person I know from faraway. We created a dream together before, shared hopes, of what we wanna reach in future. It was beautiful, wasn’t it pyeoul? And I always want to remember you that way. Never I really hate you for I always love you and wait for you here, to comeback to me.

Yes, pyeoul. I love you.

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