Pages

Senin, 30 Januari 2012

When Things Not Workout

well, i don't wanna be asked about past. it's not my favourite topic.

mom, i know you like him so much, but asking me about him, reminds me of past. enough is enough. i just can't take it any longer, mom. that's really torturing.

i'm not expecting anything nor i runaway. but not hear any news about him feels so much better for me. mom, i am not thinking something negative about him, whether he have other person stands beside him, i don't know. maybe things not just workout for us. please mom, don't ask me a single thing about him. i don't wanna burst the tears out. not again.
Read Comments

Minggu, 29 Januari 2012

The Red Rose Blossom In The Morning

The sun shines everyday on earth
The moon comes up in the night
brighten the sky with the stars
The sun and the moon may come and go
fulfill their duty


But the red rose is always there
she gives freshness to earth
to sky and to every living thing


The red rose make the world more beautiful
she gives the energy
with its colour and power


Yes, the red rose is you, my teacher
you gave me the couragement i need
never leave me when i was down


So, i want to thank you for all this time
Keep bright and beautiful, my teacher!


-Dedicated specially for my math teacher on SMAN 1 Pekanbaru, Dra. Raja Muda Asmida. I can't repay for every lesson you taught me, but i always try my best so i can present the very best achievement for you.-
-I haven't go back to Pekanbaru for 4,5 years, but i always remember you, Mam. I pray for the best thing to come for you. May Allah protects and bless you. I always be your student, no matter what-
Read Comments

Miserable Tweet on Twitter

well, ada hal baru yang saya pelajari dari twiiter setelah bergabung jejaring sosial ini untuk beberapa lama.

Perlu diperhatikan, menulis puisi yang isinya cukup dalam malah dijadikan cemoohan galau. Aduduh, konyol sekali manusia yang langsung mengaitkan seseorang dengan stereotipe tertentu. Menulis puisi bukan berarti galau loh, bisa jadi itu cuma ide yang seketika muncul ketika membaca timeline dan tweet orang lain.

Enough is enough, i am no longer writing my poems on twitter. Yeah, some people really annoying.

Wassalam, Arumdaung.
Read Comments

Perempuan

Perempuan adalah mahluk yang luar biasa. Betapa kaum perempuan memiliki peranan yang luar biasa dalam nurture generasi masa depan. Tapi entah kenapa, saya melihat degradasi dalam kualitas perempuan masa kini.

Beberapa waktu yang lalu, saya melamar untuk sebuah perusahaan trader di kawasan Sudirman, Jakarta. Mengikuti ritme kerjanya sungguh menyenangkan. Berjalan menyusuri jalanan ibukota di pagi hari bak eksekutif muda. Polos memang, tapi melihat kakak saya yang terlebih dahulu bekerja di kawasan elit begitu membuat saya tergerak untuk dapat bekerja di daerah itu pula.

Masuk ke kantornya juga berasa "woooow". Benar - benar ala eksekutif muda. Orang - orang berdasi, kemeja licin dan wanitanya mengenakan high heels dengan muka terangkat. Saya kagum sekali. Tapi belakangan, baru saya menyadari. Memang kaum perempuan terlihat begitu angkuh dan punya power yang hebat, tapi itu cuma kedok di depan muka.

Suatu kali, saya mendengar obrolan di toilet ketika mengganti sepatu kerja.
A : aduh, gue mesti diet nih, perut gue gendut banget kaya ibu hamil, euh!
B : emang yang hamilin lo siapa?
A : gila lo, gue bilang ni perut aja yang gede, bukan gue hamil!!
B : lah ga apa-apa kali kalo lo mau maen ma cowo, yang penting pake pengaman
A : emang gue kaya lo apah. lo tuh entar klo hamil aja berabe, kaga tau bapaknya siapa, secara lo maennya ama tiga orang
B : bodo, yang penting gue fun!
Tidak lama, keduanya menyudahi obrolan dan ngacir ke kantor.

Gubrakk!! Saya pun terbengong - bengong ria keluar dari toilet. Sambil berjalan ke tempat training, saya tak habis pikir, kenapa ada perempuan yang mengatasnamakan senang-senang untuk sementara dan tidak peduli akibat serta harga dirinya sendiri. Oh Allah, saya mohon ampun sudah mendengar obrolan mudharat tadi. Tidak bermaksud untuk menguping, tapi dua perempuan itu omongannya kelewat kenceng ga kira-kira.

Besoknya, ada obrolan lain di dekat ruang makan, ketika break makan siang, dua perempuan dengan santainya berbicara keras di samping saya.
A : (bete tingkat dewa) duh gila bo, masa gue ajak XX clubbing kemaren malem, baru minum cocktail se-sloki aja udah teler
B : ah si XX emang payah, mending lo ngajak yang laen
A : ho oh, gue aja minum wine 6 gelas belom mabok
B : (suara kekaguman) wah expert banget lo, gue mesti belajar dari lo jeng

Ya Allah astaghfirullah, lagi-lagi mendengar hal yang saya tidak harapkan. Aduhai Tuhan, apa perempuan di daerah perkotaan tidak kenal lagi dengan norma? tidak peduli dengan dignity-nya? lagi - lagi saya cuma bengong lang ling lung dengan sukses.

Keesokan harinya, giliran trainer saya yang tidak kalah dodolnya. Dia adalah perempuan dengan personality jenis sanguinis yang kentara sekali dari cara berpakaian dan sikapnya ketika berbicara. Rambut pendek di tata ala maribeth, baju terbuka di bagian dada, rok pendek setengah paha dan killer heels yang terlihat mahal.
Trainer : saya sih tugasnya menjual jasa, menawarkan nasehat keuangan para klien. saya bakal menuruti keinginan klien karena klien lah yang membayar saya, jadi kalau ada klien yang senang mengadakan kerjasama dengan dikelilingi cewek-cewek seksi, saya oke-oke saja, saya bisa menyediakan tempat yang lebih intim, tidak perlu formal.

Astaganagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....Ya Allah, saya cuma bisa terduduk lemas mendengarnya. Hebat sekali, pikir saya. Wanita ini yang usianya sudah tiga puluhan lebih, mengaku beragama (bener ga ya?? KTP doang kayanya) dan punya 1 orang anak perempuan yang sudah duduk di bangku TK. Astaghfirullah, saya bener - bener pusing tujuh keliling. Apa dia tidak malu menceritakan hal ini pada orang asing di depannya? apa tidak merasa malu dengan anak perempuannya sendiri? apa dia tidak merasa malu dengan merendahkan dirinya yang bersedia menyediakan perempuan lain yang rela dibayar sedemikian rupa?

Sungguh saya memohon ampun pada Allah agar Ia mau memaafkan saya. Lebih lanjut lagi saya perhatikan, ternyata wanita di kantor ini memakai baju yang sangat terbuka, sedang saya sendiri memakai kerudung. Aduh, malu sekali rasanya kalau harus bergaul dengan orang - orang seperti ini.

Tidak berapa lama kemudian, saya di tawari kontrak untuk bergabung dengan perusahaan itu. Saya sempat bingung, saya ingin punya tambahan penghasilan untuk membayar kuliah saya, tapi praktek pekerjaannya pada dasarnya adalah riba dan ditambah lagi harus bermanis muka bergaul dengan orang seperti itu. Maka saya pun menyerah. Lebih baik mundur, daripada saya menderita resiko tuntutan bila saya bergabung lebih jauh. Lebih baik mundur, bila itu dapat melindungi saya bergaul dengan orang - orang yang kehidupannya menjerumuskan. Mundur lebih terhormat daripada mendapat uang yang pada dasarnya haram. Mundur berarti saya menang.

Alhamdulillah, saya resmi tidak bergabung dengan perusahaan itu. Bahagia rasanya terlepas dari lingkaran yang menyesakkan itu. Saya menjadikan ini semua sebagai pengalaman berharga. Perempuan harusnya menjaga diri dan sikapnya dengan begitu ia berarti menghormati dirinya sendiri sekaligus dihormati orang lain.

Read Comments

Sabtu, 28 Januari 2012

Bintang - Bintang Emas

Nayalakan kembang apimu
Biarkan sinarnya memecah kegelapan
bagai bintang - bintang berpijar panas
terangi langit kelam, hidupkan harapan


Jangan kau takut bila suatu nanti
pendarnya mulai menghilang
tinggalkan bara merah
hingga ke ujung tangkai


Ada kalanya kau harus menghadapi kegelapan itu kembali
Tapi tak perlu kau cemaskan
Demi Dzat yang nyawamu ada di tanganNya
Percayalah selalu kepadaNya
karena Allah tidak tidur


Ia menjaga dan mengawasi setiap hambaNya
Ia pula yang akan menyalakan kembali kerlipan pelita itu
bersamamu, hadapi kegelapan
Sekali lagi.


Fire-glow

Read Comments

A Night Poem

He is gone without a trace
I left with a saddened face
I call out your name
Just to reach some embrace


All the broken arrow
They shattered over thin floor
I bend on my knee
Picking up pieces by pieces
But find nowhere to put it back together


The herds of swallow flying away
As the day turn to twilight
And chill winds playing me far
Beyond my recognition


I walk through that path
Holding both my hands tightly
The sense of coldness that i hardly escape
Like it mocking me loud


I try to smile
Force myself to face it bravely
For i am sure of my fate
For he the true love i shall find........
Read Comments

Kamis, 26 Januari 2012

Some People are Sucks

True. I hate it so much when people said i should not write something too romantic or too painful love story. Like i need to keep my head straight.

One thing for sure, my brain works well.

Well, hey, you people know nothing about me. I know i am wearing jilbab, but then on the other side, but i never pretending to be something i am not. I like literature, i like reading some romantic, or sad love story, i like writing using words that i hope soft enough to deliver feeling. But then those people criticize me, like i am putting my feeling over Allah, like i went too deep in desperation. I love Allah, of course (Allah is The Number One), but i wanna be a writer, that can use classical or words combination just like Jane Austen or Jean Webster.

Some people only good at judging. I really wanna laugh of that kind people. They act like they know a person meanwhile, they know nothing.

Let's not judging others, cause few words you said may stab a person right on her chest. Mind your own bussiness. Stop saying something negative of people you don't know.
Read Comments

Cerita Sunyi

Ada sebuah cerita yang ingin kubagi, tapi aku sendiri tak tahu akankah cerita ini berakhir bahagia atau hanya akan membuatku menitikkan airmata

Cerita yang mungkin kau alami sendiri, tentang seseorang yang berjalan seorang diri. Kosong rasanya ketika duniamu kehilangan sosoknya. Sosok yang kau sayangi sepenuh hati. Ketika dia tak ada, seringkali kau merasakan kesepian. Bukan hanya sekali dua kali, tetapi dalam banyak hitungan. Tak menyenangkan menjalani hari tanpa hadirnya.

Aku tak memiliki teman untuk berbicara. Tak ada teman untuk berbagi. Hanya ada sepi dan aku sendiri. Meski kucoba utarakan hal ini padanya, ia tetap tak bergeming. Tinggallah aku seorang diri yang terpukul dan merana.

Ingin kurengkuh wajahnya seperti dahulu kala, memeluk lingkupan hatinya dan meletakkan kepalaku di pundaknya. Ketika tak perlu kata-kata untuk ungkapkan isi hati kami berdua. Hadirnya bahagiakan perasaanku, genggaman erat nan lembut ikut benamkan jiwaku didalamnya. Sadar betapa aku menyayanginya, sadar bahwa hanya ia seorang yang miliki hati ini.

Tetapi kini ia terlalu jauh untuk kuraih. Tak cukup kuat kakiku mengejarnya. Terus berlari, berharap ia berhenti dan menoleh ke arahku. Dan bila itu terjadi, akan kudekap ia. Takkan kulepaskan rangkulan itu. Ingin aku menguncinya disana, hingga ia tak perlu pergi lagi, tinggalkan aku yang menangis sendiri.
Read Comments

Selasa, 24 Januari 2012

Warnings and Signs

"Allah is The Creator of all things, HE is the Supreme and Irresistible" (Ar-Ra'd : 16)
Subhanallah walhamdulillah wallahu akbar wala ila ha ilallah....


Untaian tasbih diatas juga dikenal sebagai tasbih Fathimah Az-Zahra, putri kesayangan, permata hati Rasulullah SAW. Tasbih yang dinisbahkan kepada Fathimah ketika ia dirundung kesulitan, sebagai dzikir yang dapat melapangkan hati. Dzikir yang indah, mencakup kebesaran dan keagungan Allah SWT.


Sebenarnya bukan dzikir ini yang hendak saya ceritakan, tetapi alangkah indahnya bila sebelum memulai sesuatu hal kita terlebih dahulu memohon kebaikan dan ridhoNya agar hal yang dilakukan tidak sia-sia, begitu pula dengan tulisan berikut, yang hendak saya utarakan.


Walhamdulillah, saya teramat bersyukur dengan karunia Allah yang tidak terputus, betapa Allah menganugerahi saya indra-indra yang dapat merasakan kecintaanNya kepada saya. Tidak bermaksud sombong, tapi saya benar bersyukur hingga detik ini diberi akal pikiran untuk merenungkan makna dan tujuan hidup saya, diberi kesehatan sehingga dapat beraktivitas hingga detik ini dan diberi nyawa untuk dapat beribadah kepada Allah semata.


Sebagai manusia biasa, tentu saya tidak pernah lepas dari salah dan dosa. Ada kalanya saya mengeluh, sering malah. Keluhan yang muncul seperti bikun yang telat mampir ke halte, sehingga pulang ke rumah kemaleman (saya tidak suka nebeng, kecuali kalau terpaksa). Kali lain mengeluh nilai yang rasanya tidak adil.


Tetapi keluhan paling baru dalam daftar saya lumayan banyak, kalau diingat saya benar-benar malu kepada Allah. Saya mengeluh mulai dari pekerjaan yang ga lancar, honor yang kacau, nilai uas yang payah, bisnis yang mandek sampai mengeluh karena kesepian. Rasanya sampai saya ingin membanting barang saking kesalnya. Tapi tepat ketika saya tidak puas dengan hidup saya, teguran dan nasehat lembut dari Allah datang menghampiri, dalam cara yang tidak saya duga.


Ketika saya kesal pekerjaan yang saya harapkan tidak kunjung dapat, seketika Allah menunjukkan ada anak-anak yang harus bekerja jadi loper koran hingga malam demi biaya sekolahnya.


Ketika saya mengeluh masalah honor yang tidak kunjung cair, Allah menegur dengan lembut, bahwa ada banyak pedagang kaki lima di luar sana yang dalam 1 hari jualannya banyak tidak laku padahal ada anak dan istri yang menjadi tanggung jawabnya.


Ketika saya mengeluh nilai uas yang payah, Allah mengingatkan ada ribuan orang diluar sana yang tidak punya biaya untuk sekolah, orang-orang yang tujuan hidupnya hanya untuk makan esok hari. Sementara saya tidak perlu seperti itu, saya cuma perlu berusaha keras dalam kuliah.


Dalam banyak hal, keluhan saya terjawab seketika oleh Allah. Alhamdulillah, saya jadi bisa menutup mulut sedikit demi sedikit untuk ketidaksukaan saya terhadap sesuatu. Kadang, teguranNya sampai dalam bentuk obrolan dengan teman, kadang dalam bahan bacaan yang seketika saya temukan dan lain-lain.


Saya bersyukur dengan sepenuh hati Allah mau mengingatkan saya, dalam bentuk hal sederhana yang ditunjukkanNya, saya merasakan Kasih Allah yang demikian luas. Meski saya hanya satu dari sekian miliar manusia di muka bumi, Allah tidak lupa pada saya. Alhamdulillah, semoga kecintaan pada Allah ini tidak akan pernah berakhir.


Berikut adalah beberapa lampiran hadits dan quote dari Khalifah yang saya sukai, semoga bisa jadi pengingat untuk orang lain yang mungkin membaca tulisan ini.


  • Raihlah ilmu, dan untuk meraih ilmu, belajarlah untuk tenang dan bersabar (Khalifah Umar bin Khattab)
  • Ilmu itu lebih baik daripada harta. Ilmu menjaga engkau dan engkau menjga harta. Ilmu itu mmenghukum dan harta itu terhukum. Harta kurang bila dibelanjakan tetapi ilmu bertambah ketika dibagikan (Khalifah Ali binAbi Thalib)
  • Kecintaan pada Allah melingkupi hati, kecintaan ini membimbing hati dan bahkan merambah ke segala hal (Imam Al-Ghazali)
  • Rasulullah SAW bersabda, ada 3 hal yang siapa saja akan merasakan lezatnya iman : Apabila Allah dan RasulNya lebih ia cintai daripada yang lain, mencintai seseorang karena Allah dan benci kepada kekafiran laksana ia benci untuk di campakkan ke neraka (HR. Bukhari)
dan berikut potongan ayat yang amat saya sukai :
"Those who patiently persevere, seeking the countenance of their God, establish regular prayers, spend out of (the gifts) WE have bestowed for their sustenance, secretly and openly and turn off evil with good; for such there is the final attainment of the (eternal) home" (Ar-Ra'd : 22)

"Allah doth enlarge or grant by (strict) measure, the sustenance (which Allah giveth) to whomso Allah pleased. (The wordly) rejoice in the life of this world : But the life of this world is llittle comfort in the hereafter........" (Ar-Ra'd : 26)
Read Comments

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrrow

Depok, 12:36 am

So the day has passed, and replaced by a new day, just few minutes ago. We never know what will happen even in few moments later. Allah has plan that we may not know.

But whatever happen next, i wish for Allah to stay by my side. May Allah bless all our acts yesterday, the rest of the day and tomorrow till the final day we met Allah.

May Allah forgive our mistakes back then and afterwards for we just human full of sin.

May Allah guide us to the righteous path in order to reach the heaven.

Amin ya rabbal alamin..
Read Comments

Minggu, 22 Januari 2012

Impatient


What time is it? 3.55 pm, jakarta time
What day is today? sunday, january 22, 2012

oh Allah, why do the time feels so sluggish? well, i do not mean to complaint, but i just can't wait to go back to Gilimanuk. I lived there for three months, way back then in the beginning of 2010. I miss the breeze in Gilimanuk, the sound of the wave, the small crabs playing around, star fish creeping slowly, i even found jellyfish in Karang Sewu beach.

I feel so impatient to go back there. I consider gilimanuk as the third hometown. The first one is pekanbaru, place where i was born there, then depok, because i have lived here for 4,5 years and lastly, gilimanuk, cause i lived for three months and i feel this strong connection with that fishing village.

Gilimanuk is a small, humble fishing village in western Bali. Nothing special about this village actually, but i love it so much. You can go around the village by foot. They have great food, great view and great people. The people in gilimanuk are so humble. Unlike people in jakarta, we tend to be suspicious when other people we don't know talking to us (can't blame that actually, the crime rate is so much higher in jakarta), but in gilimanuk, people are all smiling adn welcomes you warmly.

2 more weeks and i shall fly back there. I keep telling myself to be patient, but i can't. Each day, i keep staring at calendar, crossing each day when it pass. But i am hoping for Allah to slow the time down when i in Gilimanuk..hohoho..

Thinking going back there really makes me excited. And, secretly, i am wishing for someone, or anoyne to lock my feet so i don't have to go back to jakarta. But then, college is still numero uno. By the time i graduated from UI, i wished for Allah to give me job so i could live in Bali. Amiiiinnn ya Rabbal Alamin...

Read Comments

Syukur, in Poem

Syukur
1 kata sederhana
dibentuk oleh 6 huruf yang dijalin jadi satu


Syukur
Kata ini tidak mewah
Tidak pula jumawa
Tapi bila mampu menyerapnya
Sungguh menimbulkan perasaan yang luar biasa


Syukur
Ia dapat membuat jiwamu menjadi lembut
Isi dunia penuh warna
Usir kesombongan yang menggerogoti hati
Lepas dari jeratan materi 
Dan nafsu memiliki


Syukur
Ia adalah anugerah Yang Maha Kuasa
DiberikanNya secara leluasa
Begitu ramah namun pula istimewa


Syukur
Beruntunglah setiap hamba yang merasakannya
Betapa ia merasakan kebahagiaan yang hakiki
Indah, laksana hangatnya mentari pagi
Read Comments

Sabtu, 21 Januari 2012

Gratitude


Human, created by God with thoughts, minds and desires. We always want something. After gain one thing. We want another. Yep, human never satisfy with what they got on their hands. It is natural, because we need to set goal, one step at a time.

Yes, it is good to set goals and after reaching one, we set for the new one. But then sometimes, we just blinded by things we want. As if everything is just not enough. We become crave for more and more. At the end of the day, your sight no longer clear, even obsessed with things.
Trust me, things like cars, house, clothes, gadgets and many other things can’t fill your life with happiness. It actually sucking the life out of you.  

Sometimes we are not realized it. We complaining so much of how the fate not turn the way we want it to be. We seldomly feel grateful of ourselves, eventough our background actually not from a rich family. But yeah, we forgot that fact. Maybe because we have friends whose lot wealthier than us, whose life seems extremely easy and happy. While we need to scratch from zero to reach this point.

We should be proud of our achievement but we need to remember. Nothing as powerfull as Allah, for Allah The One that have it all. We human are powerless except the thing we received from Allah’s mercy.

No matter you do, no matter how far you run, you can’t hide from Allah’s sight for Allah always there watching us. Being grateful and rely ur fate faithfully on Allah prevent you from being greedy and ungratitude.
Read Comments

Untukmu Bintang Tak Terjamah



Biarkan angin membawa 
Pesanku jauh melayang
Hingga menyusuri laut terdalam
Ketika langit menjadi kelam
dan dunia hilang dalam
genggaman..

Percayalah, aku akan selalu
Menjagamu..
Menemanimu..
Bersamamu..

Meskipun aku mungkin
Tak selalu berada di sampingmu
Meskipun aku hanya dapat berdiri
Dibalik bayang-bayang kelabu

Yakinlah..
Harapan itu tak pernah lenyap
Ia ada dalam derai – derai angin pagi
Mengalun jernih dalam nyanyian embun putih

Maka, tidurlah sayang
dan bermainlah
Hingga ke relung terdalam
Garis - garis mimpi 
Menuju indahnya sebuah 
Cerita mengenai kau, aku dan jalinan harapan
Akan dunia kita. 
Read Comments

Jumat, 20 Januari 2012

The Crystal of Knowledge, Universitas Indonesia












Read Comments

Syukur

pict taken from : aqisthiaf.blogspot.com


Sebenarnya tidak ada yang spesial hari ini. Tidak ada presiden negara asing atau ilmuwan yang berkunjung ke UI. Juga tidak ada kegiatan kampus atau perkuliahan yang mengharuskan saya ke UI, tapi entah mengapa saya merasa perlu ke perpustakaan.

The crystal of knowledge, begitulah nama resmi perpustakaan pusat UI. Tidak terhitung sudah berapa kali saya mengunjungi perpustakaan ini, khususnya semester lalu. Tugas yang berkepanjangan dan silih berganti memaksa saya menggali informasi yang ada di dalamnya.
Countless times ke perpustakaan tidak membuat saya jengah. Saya mencintai perpustakaan ini, buku-buku tua yang ada di dalamnya dan terutama sekali pemandangan sekitar perpustakaan. Danau salam yang hijau membentang damai, sesekali burung layang-layang terbang ria di atasnya. Ditambah lagi semilir angin menyapa dedaunan di deretan pepohonan di samping balairung.

Indah sekali. Benar-benar indah.

Dan hari ini adalah hari jumat. Benar, tak ada yang spesial, terkecuali faktanya hari jumat selalu membawa ketenangan dan kebahagiaan bagi saya. Saya melangkah dengan hati riang hingga ke FKM, kemudian meminjam sepeda di shelter FKM. Dalam 7 menit dan saya pun sampai di perpustakaan. Kali ini saya mengembalikan novel peter pan dan saudagar buku dari kabul. Sebelumnya ada hal yang mengganggu pikiran saya, petugas perpustakaan menyebutkan judul buku yang saya tak pernah pinjam. Setelah berkonsultasi beberapa lama, akhirnya buku itu dihapus dari daftar peminjaman akun saya. Alhamdulillah, ucap saya dalam hati, bayangkan saja ternyata hari ini adalah hari terakhir pengembalian buku itu. Bila saya tidak mengembalikannya, saya akan dikenai denda dan yang paling parah mengganti buku itu.

Subhanallah walhadulillah, tidak henti saya mengucap syukur pada Allah. Pasalnya, sejak minggu kemaren saya sudah susah payah mencari buku itu tapi tidak menemukannya. Dan hari ini tanpa disangka, dengan begitu mudah Allah memberikan jalan untuk saya. Satu kebaikan kecil dariNya. Begitu sederhana, begitu indah.
Dari tempat pengembalian buku saya naik ke lantai dua. Kali ini untuk meminjam novel baru. Hati saya seperti terlepas dari beban berat. Tidak butuh waktu lama hingga saya menemukan novel yang menarik hati.

Setelah mengurus peminjaman, saya turun mengambil tas di lantai satu dan mulai membaca di ruang duduk. Tapi cuacanya indah sekali di luar. Saya tidak dapat menolak ajakan angin semilir di luar dinding perpustakaan. Maka aku membeli  cold chocolate dan duduk membaca diantara ruang terbuka dibawah pohon tua depan perpustakaan. Tidak lama kemudian, para violinis memainkan permainan biola yang sungguh ceria lagi mempesona.

Subhanallah, tidak hentinya saya mengucap kata itu sebagai bentuk kekaguman saya atas ciptaan Allah yang luar biasa. Hanya keindahan sederhana, meskipun begitu saya merasa sangat bersyukur dapat menikmati pemandangan indah diiringi alunan biola. Jalinan yang sempurna.

pict taken from : http://3.bp.blogspot.com

Penuh rasa syukur, pikiran berikut muncul begitu saja…
*      Saya bersyukur bisa belajar dan kuliah, di saat banyak orang lain sulit untuk meneruskan studinya, terutama sekali berkesempatan kuliah di Universitas Indonesia.
*      Saya bersyukur dapat menangkap pelajaran dan dibekali fasilitas yang cukup untuk bisa belajar dengan baik.
*      Saya bersyukur bisa bertemu dengan dosen yang banyak mengajarkan filosofi kehidupan, bukan hanya materi tak berkesudahan. Saya percaya Filosofi  penting untuk pembangunan karakter manusia.
*      Saya bersyukur dapat menikmati keindahan seperti ini. Keindahan sederhana yang dapat dirasakan tanpa perlu membayar mahal.
*      Saya bersyukur dapat menghirup udara, bersyukur dapat bernafas dengan baik, bersyukur memiliki kesehatan, dan jutaan hal lainnya yang tidak mungkin dihitung satu per satu.

Ketika mengucapkan hal itu hati saya terasa penuh dan berbahagia. Subhanallah, tak ada kata-kata yang mampu mengungkapkan betapa bersyukurnya saya. Hanya alhamdulillah yang berulangkali terucap. Begitu luas kuasa dan karunia Allah, bahkan hal paling kecil pun di limpahkannya untuk kita, bila kita mau membuka hati, menerima penciptaan sekalian alam olehNya.

pict taken from : suksestotal.com


Read Comments

Kamis, 19 Januari 2012

Letters i cannot send

December 1, 2011
Dearest pyeoul..
I wanna scream first, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……huufftt…wait that’s not enough. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  >o<

Well, you might wondering why do I scream all of sudden..hehehehe…miyane.. I am sorry, I am just soooooooooooooooooooooooo excited. Guess what, I met Christian Wulff today!. Well, if you don’t know him, let me tell you, he is the president of Germany.

Me? Met president of Germany? I haven’t even met president of Indonesia, our own country. But I met leader of one of the biggest country in the world.

That happened earlier today, I went to central library of ui, just to finish my mekflu task, but they say the library is closed sue to the arrival and general lecture by president of germany. Euuhh, you know, I hate walking back to my house, it’s so faraway, plus the weather was really hot. So I choose to join the lecture. It was free after all :D

So, I sign myself. I did not know what to expect, I just thought, I cannot wait outside and see this armed forces. Scary.

So I walked and wait for 45 mins. There, in hallway to auditorium, I met this woman, we introduced ourselves. Her name is uswatun hasanah, she is married, having two kids already and is pursuing doctoral degree in taiwan. Whoa! What a smart woman, I thought. We talked to kill the time, finally christian wulff came in, but we could not go inside the auditorium due to its limited capacity. So i waited outside with mbak uswah and we signed to be Jerin member.

After 1,5 hour, finally the lecturer is finished. Me and mbak uswah choose to stand on front side, then christian wulff approached and he greeted us. I’m so excited and just talked loudly to imply his words, he saw me and walked towards me. He asked me several questions and I answered it perfectly. He was very warm, very nice in person.
Hohohoho..i might not be able to go in the auditorium but I talked to christian wulff in person, face to face. Oh my…I wished I could scream that time. And oh! I also met B.J.Habibie for the second time. But he walked so fast and I also met adrie subono, but he look so anxious that I myself not dare to say a thing to him.

Beside me, mba uswah kept texting and calling her husband. He called him sayang..of course, it was her husband. From our conversations, he looked like very supportive on her and respond her well.

Oh darl, I wished I could call you that time just like mba uswah. I really envy her talking to freely about her activities to her husband, while I got none to call, none to talk to. i felt excitement but only to myself. It would be nice to share those excitement to someone I love..

Darl, please come, please let us back like our old time. When we can call each other freely and I can share my stories with you.
Nan bogoshippoyo
Eve


January 1, 2012

Hi my dearest person. The man I love so much.

How are you today? New day of new year. Woow, it’s more than a year since the first time we meet. You know, I am listening to christina perri’s song, a thousand years.
I miss you so much. The setting of the vidclip is edward and bella’s wedding. So sweet… the words fit so perfectly. Will you and I end up the way edward and bella did? Well, I hope so…

I never stop waiting for you, just like the feeling of edward, feels like I’ve been waiting for you a thousand years. I still remember the feeling by the first time I met you. You were there, calling and talking right next to me. Make me freeze that moment.

I was thinking, like : oh here you are. So…you are the person I’ve been longing for, the person I slowly fall in love with, eventough I barely knew it. You here, in front of me. The love I dream of, finally stand before me.

I could not say anything. I really wanna hug you that time, but since it was our first meeting I could not do it. I just smiling to you. I keep it in my heart. No one else fill my heart like you do.

I love you, no matter what.




January 10, 2012

Dear pyeoul, I can’t stop thinking about you. I love you so dearly and somehow, today, I miss you so much.

I saw ur fb status, you are going out with your friend today, aren’t you? Do you ever think of me when you go out? As I always think of you everytime I go to library, campus or elsewhere. I always imagine you’re by my side.

Hm..as I read it, it seems like I’m obsessed with you. Trust me, I actually not. It’s just that I feel lonely many times, I got no one to talk to, no one would listen to my story nor ever anyone ask how am I doing. I miss your presence. I miss your smile. I miss it when we talk crazily for hours.

I miss you, as always. And I always pray for Allah to send you here. Just come and visit me once a while. It will be okay for me. I will not ask much. I’m trying to understand you. Who am I after all? Just a stranger for you. But I have never wanted to go back to that situation when we were completely stranger. Shiro! Andwae! I don’t want that!.

I got an exam today, I just finished study. It’s basic fluid mechanics subject. I don’t know how I’m going to answer the questions tonight. I just want this to be over asap.

In the next three weeks, we shall meet, pyeoul. But I actually scared. Scared of how you will behave. I’m scared that you will ignore me. But I gotta face it. I won’t run, though It may hurtful. Really, I have no idea what will happen. If you ignore me then all my effort will go to waste. But I gotta be tough. Just like what I promised to you. If it’s not you going here, then I will go there visit you.

Tears fall from my eyes as I’m writing this. Chongmal appuda, chongmal dap dap hae. Really hurtful, really suffocates.

Nunmuri chakku huruda, nega bogoshippo, chugulgo katta, ihjeya arasso? The tears keep flowing, I’m missing you so much, I can’t hide it, do you understand my feeling?
This thing, I can’t tell you. This letter I can’t send to you.

I ‘m way too scared, I can only look down. You never reply me back. My heart crushed to pieces.
See you,
eve.


January 12, 2012
Dearest pyoul…
How are you dong today? The clock says 2.11 pm jakarta time as I am writing this letter to you.  It must be 3.11 pm in bali. How’s the weather in bali? It’s been so long since the last time we talk about weather, aren’t we? Usually, we always have different weather. Like, if I have sunny day here, it probably cloudy for you there. But if you feel the hot sun in denpasar, then I found rain outside. Seems like it is so indifferent but on the other side, we completing each other.

You must be finished working by now, right? Usually, you tell me the morning shift isn’t as busy as other shift. Except maybe government held special and big event in denpasar then the units got to run. That’s also applied to Gima’s unit. At the time like this, they only produce 80 MW, but on busy they, the machine running to its full capacity.

Bali. Again and again.

You know, I already purchase tickets back and forth from jkt-dps and dps – jkt. We shall meet soon. I can’t wait for that. Really. I miss you so much. Eventough I still scare how I’m going to react to you. 


Sadness and happiness, both shadowing my footsteps. I feel so down when I’m thinking I’m going to face you. You seem so conceited. I have no confidence at all.  Maybe because I’m longer know you. I wish by my visit to dps, our freezing relationship will melt under the sun of bali. I hope so. Eventough I can’t figure it.
I always love you,
Eve


January 19, 2012
Dearest pyeoul..
How are you doing today? I don’t go anywhere today. Feel little bit sick. I’ve been sneezing since yesterday. Yup, I guess I caught flu, maybe because I always walking in rain these days.

You know, yesterday I sell my novels, my precious props. i’m hoping to receive some cash, you know, my another love, my ipod is broken, so I need to find more money so that I can get it fixed. But the thing is…my novels worth so poorly that my heart is broken. Oh my goodness..i really wanna cry when I made the deal. But nothing I can do about it. The book bussiness is hard, trust me, darling.

I am wondering what are you doing now, are you just finished working or you still in the gym, doing your fave workout. Somehow, I kinda dislike that. Cause I see you a lil bit cocky after you gaining some muscle mass. You, kinda like man in tv, who’s showing off their muscle. Oh gee…those things I really hate it. But nothing I can do about it. I’m nothing for you, just like usual. I must hold the tears back. Holding back, like there’s nothing happen, or pretending as if my heart and mind are okay.

Really, I miss you everyday, I really wanna talk loudly and laughing along with you. Just like we used to do. I am listening to our recording just few minutes ago. But I can’t stand it. I just can’t. it hurts me too much listening to it. This is strange, I used to love your voice so much, but listen your voice stabbing my chest. Felt like our conversations are empty. You were there, but not your soul. You no longer laughing, only mumbling and grunning around.

I miss you, I love you, always. Please be kind to me, please look at me. I am longing for you love.
That’s what I am hoping for..
Love you, always
Eve 
Read Comments

Selasa, 17 Januari 2012

A granddaughter's Wish

Uci.

Uci adalah panggilan bagi nenek ibu dalam tradisi keluarga minang kabau. Uci yang kupunyai hanya dari pihak ibu. Aku tidak pernah mengenal nenek atau kakekku, keduanya telah meninggal sebelum aku lahir. Ibu sejak kecil dipelihara oleh uci setelah ibunya meninggal dan ayahnya menikah kembali.

Aku mengenal uci hanya dari cerita ibu. Uci meninggal di usia 93 tahun atau saat aku berumur 4 tahun. Uci sangat menyayangiku, begitu cerita ibu dan kakakku. Ketika aku masih di dalam kandungan ibu, uci sering mengelus perut ibu sambil mendoakan aku yang ada didalamnya.

"Oi, sihaiklah kau nak. Pabilo kau padusi, baiak, rancak jo cadiaklah utak kau. Pabilo kau laki, elok juo, pahibua hati amak kau". "hai, sehatlah kamu. Bila kamu perempuan semoga kamu sehat, cantik dan pintar. Tapi, bila kamu laki-laki, baik juga untuk menghibur hati ibumu", begitulah doa uci untukku.

Uci senantiasa menemani dan menguatkan ibu ketika pernikahan kedua orangtuaku di terpa badai. Pesan ibu untuk uci pada waktu itu yaitu untuk mengharamkan airmata yang tertumpah akibat tingkah laku ayah yang menyakitkan. Ibu harus kuat dengan 8 anak yang dimilikinya. Uci juga meminta ibu untuk terus membahagiakan hatinya apapun yang terjadi, karena hati dan perasaan yang sakit adalah awal mula keruntuhan fisik manusia. Minum obat bila sakit, serta istirahat dan makan yang cukup. Pesan yang begitu sederhana namun pengaruhnya sangat besar bagi ibu.

Kata ibu, uci adalah sosok yang pemurah dan penyayang. Ucilah wanita yang bersedia menampung dan memelihara keponakannya yang yatim piatu. Memelihara mereka layaknya anak kandungnya meski saat itu suaminya telah tiada.

Uci memelihara 7 anak yatim asuhannya dengan hasil sawah dan ternak yang dimilikinya. Uci juga sering membagikan masakan buatannya kepada para tetangga. Uci percaya sesuai dengan sunnah Nabiyullah, orang yang menjalin hubungan baik dengan tetangganya akan berumur panjang. Uci juga tak pernah lupa menjalankan ibadah sunah Rasulullah lainnya, termasuk di dalamnya ibadah 40 hari, shalat sunat rawatib, shalat taubat, shalat tasbih, shalat tahajud, puasa senin kamis dan lainsebagainya. Sungguh, uci adalah pribadi yang taat beribadah.

Kata kakakku, uci sering mendendangkan lagu hingga akku tertidur dalam buayannya. Uci pula yang membantu meluluhkan hati ayah ketika ayah masih belum mau melihatku. Uci berjasa besar bagi keluarga kami. Tanpa uci, kami tidak mungkin akan sebaik saat ini.

Ya, aku tak pernah benar-benar mengenal uci, tapi mendengar cerita tentang beliau dari ibu hari ini membuatku merindukan sosoknya. Aku ingin berbaring di pelukan uci, ingin merasakan kelembutan tangannya di wajahku.

Uci, cucumu merindukanmu. Aku ingin merasakan kehangatan kasih seorang nenek. Uci, saat ini aku sedang bersedih. Hatiku sungguh terluka. Ingin rasanya aku mengharamkan airmata yang tumpah sebagaimana engkau dahulu melarang ibuku. Aku ingin sekali berlari menuju pangkuanmu dan engkau menghapus airmata dari pipiku. Semoga Allah melapangkan kubur uci dan menjauhkannya dari siksa kubur.

Aku rindu sekali padamu nek. Aku menyayangimu dan aku memohon bantuanmu dari alam sana. Sebuah bantuan untuk cucumu yang bersedih hati.....
Read Comments

Minggu, 15 Januari 2012

Love of a fool

not once i ever forget you...
for i always here, waiting for you

just a devoted heart
i wanted to present to you

so faraway....
i look to horizon, but i can't find you there
where are you?
don't you know i always longing for your presence?

i stand alone
crying.
holding my chest tightly
so it won't feel too much hurt

i can't stop the tears
it fall without my notice
eventough i forbid myself
to stop crying

i just can't
i'm not be able to run 
from the love i present for you before

it tortures me so much
buut nothing i can do
and so i can't help myself either

just a feeling of a fool
waiting for a man
she love so dearly
Read Comments

Minggu, 08 Januari 2012

New Year

well, never really realize it, but it's already past new year! woooow... according to Mayan's calendar, this year is a year of apocalypse that many people will die by "great disaster" on earth. I personally do not believe in that somekind of prophecy. Why would we? That kinda prophecy is not 100% accurate, so i choose to stay on positive side.

So, have you guys made a list of resolution for this year? My lecturer, Mr. Warjito, said, good plan is a step ahead of good future. By making good plan which can lead to good preparations, we can minimize the effect of failure. That's a very good advice. My lecturer got its point.

But the thing is, i myself haven't made a plan of what i wanna do for the upcoming days. I guess i am afraid. So many things not work out in my life last year. 2010 was awesome, but 2011 is awful because i got to cry almost everyday in every month.

That thought lead me to something, Well..why don't i make simple resolutions? instead of wanting the bigger ones, simple but meaningful resolutions will do. Because wanting the big ones put bigger pressure in you. And for people who stick so much to their wishes (in other word : stubborn), when they can't reach them, it sort of create stress in their mind.

So, simple resolutions for this year are:
1. Enjoy the ride of the life
2. Be happy all the time
3. Smiling more
4. Study well
5. Graduate from UI in a good grade
6. and it will good if i can win some competitions too ^^

hoho...so what are your plans for the next 357 days, reader? Some want to graduate, some might wanna get married, or others might wanted to start a new bussiness. well, whatever it is, i hope all your wishes come true and i hope we all be bless with happiness and health.

Much love from Arumdaung


Read Comments

A glimpse of past

12.23 pm, the crystal of knowledge, University of Indonesia

The day is so beautiful today.

Really, I’m not lying. The sun and the breeze are just perfect though this still in the middle of rainy season. The sky is so clear, the swishing wind blows between the leaves.

I took bicycle earlier today to go to central library. Eversince  I acknowledged myself that I am able to ride a bicycle, I prefer to go to many places in ui by bike, not on foot anymore. Because, as I consider it furthermore, it’s just the same amount of energy that I emit by riding bicycle and going on foot as well.

Yep, riding bicycle has become the new hobby of mine. I admit that I’m not a really good rider, but I am on my way to be one. Besides, it is one of the way to learn how to ride motorcycle too. My dad really urges me to learn riding motorcycle ASAP. Eugh..i actually like it and yeah I curious of it too…but then, no one has the time to teach me riding motorcycle. So, how can i? hum, yeah it is still a big question mark in me.

Oh well…the wind really blowing so gorgeously outside. I actually prefer to ride bicycle in this kind of weather rather than spending my time in library. But, I have presentation and exam today. So, I gotta study otherwise, I will score badly in class. So yeah, I really don’t want that to be happen.

Ooups, this writing or maybe so-called-online-journal has gone too far from the main frame that I really wanna talk about. So yeah, let’s get back to the main idea that I wanna discuss, reader! ^^
When I rode bicycle before I came here, I found it so beautiful outside. I know, and I can sense the same sunshine when I was living in Gilimanuk. Except, the air feel clear and there is no smell of sea in depok. Yup, because depok is near mountainous area in Bogor. Oh, Gilimanuk! Again! Yep, somehow, I just looooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee that little fishing village so much, and I also missing it sooooooooooooo badly. Trust me, I am willing to give away things I have here in depok, just to get back there. Oh, wait, maybe not everything, but maybe most of it ^^, *wink wink*


I feel the warm of sunshine on my skin as if it was the same sunshine when I used to go out from unit to take a lunch break. The sun was really hot, the weather is so dry and you got to see goat, chicken and cows everywhere. I really miss walking in that hot sunshine but with the smell of the sea around me.  1 kilometer away, and I found Bali Strait, right in front of me with the view of mountains in east java.

When I lived in gilimanuk, my sort of entertainment there were only playing game on my laptop. None of my teammates brought tv (of, course!). So yeah, I must entertain myself by going around the village, sometimes went to town of Negara or maybe just goofying around in Singaraja.

Oh God…reader, you have no idea how I am longing to get back there. I swear to Allah that I miss Gilimanuk so much. Not even in a blink of an eye I ever forgot it. It’s been two years since I left gilimanuk. Time really went so fast, huh? So yeah…I am dying to go back there.

When I talked to my friend whose lived in gilimanuk with me before, none of them seem so miss it. Unlike me, you know. Well, maybe because most of them working full time, so they do’'t have spare time like me.
And oh! I have great news!

I already got permission from my parents to go back to Gilimanuk this february. I am going to spend  the rest of my holiday and I also have plan to arrange my final project there. One of the operator in Gilimanuk, brother ricky, as I used to call him, agree to arrange and help me out about my final task. Awesome!

I feel so lucky and happy at the same time. Eventough some things not really worked well in my life, but I gotta face it bravely and I hope after I got back from gilimanuk I will feel refresh and ready to conquer the world once again.

Many things happen In the past two years. 2010 was great, 2011 was worse,  so I am hoping for 2012 to be so much better than the past one. I am planning to arrange my holiday next week. Going to make some calls to the people I know. Good preps will make  a beautiful holiday, I hope so.

Oups, the clock says 12.54 pm now. Well, I gotta stop writing about this otherwise I can’t answer the questions in PPKM exam.
See you on the next story of mine. I hope whoever read this post  will enjoy it. Thank you so much ^^

And Gilimanuk, just wait up for me. I will go back to the place where I belong!




View from secret bay beach (they have geat restaurant too)

with my close friends in Seririt hot spring

Looking at the horizon (on karang sewu beach)
My favorite view of Gilimanuk


A view from Tanjung Benoa Port

The Blue Point

A man waiting...(on Sanur Beach)
h
Plenty of Star Fish on Karang Sewu beach
Read Comments

Forwarding

Always Looking On The Brightside