Senin, 20 Februari 2012

Letter 1

Depok, the town of rain
dear pyeoul...

How are you today my dear? i always missing you here. I really wanna text you, call you and have light, full of laughter conversation with you. But i can't. I feel miserable about this.

Pyeoul, it's exactly been a week since i left Bali. All those sad, tearful and yet cute memories playing inside my head. Thingking about it drown me to tears. I miss you so badly. I actually wanna send you letters as usual, but i can't. How come i send letters to a man whose heart no longer mine? even worse, to a married man? No, i cannot do that. I have no power to express my feeling for you.

After i count it, we only meet every 8 months. After you visit me in october 2010, i visit you later on june 2011 and lastly february 2012. Will i meet you again in the next 8 months? well, i doubt that. Guess we won't meet each other any time soon, or even in the next few years. My heart still hurts. I feel lonely actually. Days grow longer as i know you no longer stand beside me.

Pyeoul, you know, i have deleted everything about Bali, either from my phone nor my laptop. I just can't see it. I guess it took some time to love Bali again, cause Bali reminds me so much about you. You are the reason i came to Bali. The love that i expected to be my fate, but then it turn the other way.

I miss you here, as always. And i used to write these letters as an exchanging way of communicating with you. But if you never miss me as i do, then, what's the point sending you letters? We had become the player in Dear John movie. You're going to marry the other girl, while i keep waiting for you here. You let go of my hands and our promise to stay faithfully while we're away and we wait untill we become halal for each other. Pyeoul, you are the love i hold for all this time. I still hardly accept the fact we separated now. Feels like everything still going normal, but when i remember the whole thing, i begin to cry and the nightmare starts again...

The pain is too much to bear, my love.

I miss you, always and always......

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